In this post, we’re sharing some funny Dalai Lama quotes memes that are totally unexpected and guaranteed to make you laugh. Sure, the real Dalai Lama is all about peace and wisdom but people on the internet love to run wild and make up quotes not to mention, sometimes it’s fun to imagine him dropping a random joke or saying something completely out of character.
We collected these quotes on the internet that have a bit of humor, a bit of chaos, and a whole lot of silliness. So get ready for some fake but funny Dalai Lama quotes memes that definitely did not come from a monastery!
Funny Dalai Lama Quotes
1. “Anyone worth shooting is worth shooting twice.”
2. “The path to tranquility is to fire two rounds center mass and assess the threat.”
3. “Two is one, one is none.”
4. “Inner peace is knowing when to mute the group chat.”
5. “A bad coworker teaches patience. Or murder. Depends on the day.”
6. “It is when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize, there is always a way to solve problems without violence.”
7. “Guns don’t k*ll people, proper sight alignment and trigger control does.”
8. “Where da girls at.”
9. “An eye for an eye? B*tch, take the whole head.”
10. “Reincarnate me at the afterparty.”
11. “Suns out, monks out.”
12. “S*ck my tongue.*
13. “Switching your pistol is always faster than reloading.”
14. “When things look their bleakest, remember we always have the choice of scratching or eyes out.”
15. “Shooting sideways like a gangster makes for bad accuracy and mockery at range.”
16. “Punch first, meditate later.”
17. “Enlightenment is realizing you can just nap instead.”
18. “If you can’t say something nice, say it in another language.”
19. “To truly know yourself, lose your phone for five minutes and see how fast you spiral.”
20. “Inner peace is for people who can’t afford revenge.”
21. “If brute force doesn’t work, you’re not using enough.”
22. “If karma doesn’t hit them, I will.”
23. “Violence isn’t the answer. It’s a question. The answer is yes.
24. “Be the student your teacher warns other students about.”
25. “Inner peace is knowing your boss can’t fire you if you’re already dead inside.”
26. “It’s only a sin if you get caught.”
27. “Patience is a virtue. But explosives work faster.”
28. “Be the reason someone checks behind their shower curtain at night.”
29. “When in doubt, cause a little drama and log off.”
30. “War is not the answer. It’s the upgrade.”
31. “Live, laugh, launch a coup.”
32. Remember: your boss’s vacation is your real promotion.”
33. “If gossip is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”
34. “Inner peace? Bro, where the snacks at?”
35. “Karma’s real. So is this hangover.”
36. “People so loud. Shhh is free.”
37. “Forgive everyone. Except whoever finished the last slice of pizza. That’s unforgivable.”
38. “Enlighten them…. with headshots.”
39. “Love me some ice cream and snacks. Teehee.”
40. “Inner peace is good. Total domination is better.”
41. “You can’t find peace until you find who needs to shut up.”
42. “Forgive your enemies. Then unplug their router at peak hours.”
43. “If your boss can’t find you, you’re doing it right.”
44. “Diplomacy is the art of smiling while planning the siege.”
45. “Meditate daily. Invade at dawn.”
46. “Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. Choose wisely.”
47. “He who controls the WiFi controls the mind.”
48. “Kindness is free. So are viruses — send both wisely.”
49. “If they raise a white flag, repaint it red.”
50. “Karma’s nice, but reinforcements are nicer.”
51. “If all else fails, blame the intern.”
52. “Buddha said chill. I said keg.”
53. “Do no harm. Take no sht. Burn their village if necessary.”
54. “Love thy neighbor. Unless they park like an idiot.”
55. “Happiness is an inside job. So is sabotage.”
56. “Forgive your enemies but first, make them cry.”
57. “Sometimes happiness is just cancelling plans at the last minute.”
58. “They say happiness can’t be bought. Clearly they’ve never seen a discount code.”
59. “Meditate daily. Or just block everyone and take a nap. Same thing.”
60. “Why money no buy brain?”
61. “Happiness is temporary. Screenshots are forever.”
62. “Before you complain about your boss, remember: HR is not your friend.”
63. “People why you no live in peace?”
64. “If your coworker disappears, you were at lunch the whole time.”
65. “Life’s too short for firewalls. Hack first, explain later.”
66. “Don’t turn the other cheek. Headbutt them into enlightenment.”
These funny Dalai Lama quotes aren’t real (obviously!), but they live in our heads rent free just for being so silly and absurd.
Share these funny Dalai Lama quotes and spread the chaos!
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