Funny

100+ Funny Steven Wright Quotes That Are Witty & Hilarious

“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”

“If it were not for the reporters, I would tell you the truth.” – Chester A. Arthur

“Let’s go find a fucking windmill!”

“My type of woman is a tall girl with a big gorgeous a**”. – Aoi Todo

“My children time, ice hockey player, back number 7.”

“Yo Aloe Vera, where the fuck is Sasuke?”

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”

“I want my kids to see me as Dad, for God’s sake, not a television personality.”

“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.”

“The key to more success is to have a lot of pillows.”